


Unsteady

by Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:33:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8542435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter
Summary: Juice leaves you because he is unstable, will it be a happy ending or will it be too late.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hop you like it! <3

I had been with Juice off and on for four years, he was always a loose cannon but I knew that if I needed him he was there, hell or high water. This time was different, he was acting like a stranger to me and I really was sick of it. I had started avoiding him too and that was when I knew something was wrong, I had seen that he was home and I just kept driving. It isn't the first time I had done it either, in fact it is the third time I'll have done it this week. I could usually see him, hidden there in the depth of his tortured brown eyes but this time he was just gone. I drove around for hours and when I got back home he was still there, which shocked me a little. I heaved myself out of the car with a sigh and trudged up the driveway, checked the mail, and headed inside. Juice was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand staring at the tv but not watching it. He looked up when I walked in but neither of us said anything. I went to our room and grabbed some pajamas to change into. When I came out he was leaning against the door frame and I jumped.  
"Sorry." He muttered and I nodded as I brushed past him. "How was your day?" He followed after me and I sighed under my breath.  
"Fine, how was yours?"  
"Fine too." He sat on the bed and watched me in the closet mirror. "You gonna look at me?" I thought about it for a long minute before I shook my head at him. He got up and walked over to me. "Why not."  
"I'm not sure you'll like the answer to that Juice." He took my face in his hands.  
"Why not?" I took the chance and looked into his eyes, and I didn't recognize him.  
"Because I don't know you." He let me go and stepped back from me.  
"What the hell does that mean?"  
"I've known you for a lot of years Juice, I know you inside and out, but right now, I look into your eyes and I see a stranger." He frowned at me and then turned his back to me.  
"I'm right here. I'm right fucking here Y/N." I shook my head at him and set down the stuff that I had been holding.  
"No, you're not Juice. I don't know what's going on but I have always been there for you. Just talk to me." He turned around with such anger in his eyes that I backed up a step.  
"I have so much shit going on right now and you want to pile on some more huh? If you know me so fucking well then maybe you should've known that if I wanted to talk to you I would've!" He shouted at me and I snapped.  
"That's such shit Juice, you asked me to be your old lady two months ago and then you fucking pull this shit again."  
"You said no!"  
"Because Juice of this right fucking here!" I waved my arms around and I shook my head. "I _know_ you. You can't handle anything permanent." I shook my head at him.  
"Nice, a great vote of confidence from my own fucking girlfriend." I scoffed.  
"Girlfriend? This is the longest talk we've had in a month and a half." I muttered and he looked at me.  
"So what? I have had shit to do."  
"Yeah, I know that. But before Juice, that never mattered. You still made me feel important."  
"That's what this is about? You not feeling important? Well shit baby why didn't you say so?" He stepped closer and gave me a smirk, his eyes were ice cold and I just shook my head at him.  
"Fuck you Juice, I'm going to bed. I have non criminal work to do."  
"Fine. I got shit to do."  
"See you around. Love you too!" I called after him, a minute later I heard the front door slam and his bike start up. I went to take a shower, which led to some crying, and then I drank myself stupid and passed out in bed. I woke up hungover and pissed off, Juice hadn't been back and I took that as a sign. I got ready and headed to work, I worked at a diner all day Monday through Friday. I was walking out the door when Juice was pulling in, I left the front door open and walked passed him to my car.  
"Hey." He called out to me and I ignored him. I got in my car and peeled out of the driveway. He called me and I ignored his call, shutting off my phone and heading into work. It's like he said, he had shit to do and so do I. The best thing about my job is that there was very little time to dwell on old shit when your trying not to spill hot coffee and food on assholes. It was around my lunch break when Juice came in.  
"Y/N your man is here." Rosie called out from the front of the diner.  
"I don't have a man!" I yelled back and I heard her laugh, I sighed and walked out to the front. "I need a smoke, lets talk outside."  
"Why didn't you answer my calls?"  
"My phone must be off." I shrugged and lit my cigarette.  
"Bullshit. Look we need to talk." He sighed and ran a hand over his hair.  
"Ok."  
"I thought about what you said and you are right, I haven't been acting like I should towards you. I'm just unsteady, right now and I need to deal with that. Alone." I got what he meant and I frowned as I nodded my head.  
"You moving out or am I this time?" He frowned at me and I just shook my head. "I'll go, don't worry about it. Uh is that it?"  
"That's all you're going to say?"  
"What am I supposed to say Juice, this isn't the first time that you have left me, but you know what? It's the last. You want to have time to be steady that is fine, take all the time you need. I'm not going to knock you off balance anymore." I threw my cigarette to the ground and I turned my back on him.  
"I didn't mean that it was you Y/N."  
"It doesn't matter what you meant. It's the club and me and that club is your life. I know that, I respect it, and I love you for it. But that means that I am expendable and you have already proved that again and again, each time that you break up with me."  
"Why do you keep letting me back in?"  
"Because I am the idiot that loves you. That will always love you." He frowned at me and I just sighed. "Do what you gotta do, be happy, whatever, I'll be out by the weekend."  
"You don't have to leave, I'll stay at the clubhouse."  
"I think it's better if I do." I looked at my watch and sighed. "Bye Juice."  
"Hey, call me if you need anything ok?" I felt my throat get tight and I just nodded at him, we both knew that I wouldn't call. I walked back into the diner, and worked through the rest of my shift in a fog.  
  
_Shit, shit, shit, mother fucking shit!_ I started at the little stick in my hand, the six other ones and I sighed. This made things complicated, I was fucking pregnant, four years and never had a pregnancy scare, until now and it was not a false alarm. It was my day off and I was still was in the process of unpacking my stuff. I hadn't talked to Juice in a month, I was almost three months along if I got knocked up the last time we had sex. "Shit." I called the only person that I could think of.  
"Lass?"  
"Hey Chibs, I uh I need your help."  
"Want me to call Juice?"  
"No! No god no, I just need someone to talk to."  
"Where are you?" I gave him my address and he said he would be there soon. He didn't lie, within ten minutes he was on my doorstep.  
"Hey." I invited him in and he hugged me.  
"Hey darlin', what's going on?"  
"I, oh god, I'm pregnant." His eyes went wide and then he took a deep breath. "I have a doctor's appointment to be sure but I took seven tests Chibs and they are all positive. _Fuck!_ "  
"Did you tell him?" I avoided looking at him and he put his hand on my chin. "Y/N."  
"No, we're not together anymore Chibs. He can't handle it all. He admitted it and I haven't talked to him since we split, hell he doesn't even know where I live now."  
"You have to tell him love." I sighed  
"Do I?"  
"You do or I will." I sighed and shook my head at him.  
"Give me some time my appointment isn't until next week then I'll know for sure and I'll call him."  
"You'll call him?" He asked and I sighed  
"Yeah, I will." He gave me a long look and I stared back at him. "I don't want my kid to have a dad that is only there when it's easy, because with the life he has and the way he is that will be never."  
"I understand but that is a choice that the two of you have to make together, he deserves the right to know, from there that isn't my business." I ran a hand through my hair and I let out a groan.  
"Shit!"  
"You're gonna have to watch that mouth once the kid comes out."  
"Thankfully I have at least six months before that." He laughed and pulled me into a hug.  
"It's going to be ok love." He hung around for a while longer, until the club needed him. He left with a warning of "Remember Y/N. You tell him or I will." I managed to dodge his calls and him for about three weeks. I was in fact pregnant, three and a half months and the bump was starting to show now. I was getting lonely and hormonal and I let Rosie talk to going out on a blind date. We met at a fancier bar in Oakland and I was actually having a good time. Until I saw the furious face of Juice and Jax from across the bar. I watched Jax nudge Juice outside and I was glad that I parked out back. I excused myself from my date and hauled ass home. I ignored six calls from Chibs and fell asleep thinking about what an idiot I am. It was early and I was walking out the door for work and bumped into juice, literally, I almost hit the floor.  
"What the hell?" I exclaimed as I felt two arms catch me and haul me back up.  
"It's true?" I heard a familiar voice and grimaced. I knew that he saw the bump, my uniform didn't cover it very well.  
"I was gonna tell you." I told him as I pulled away from him. "What are you doing here Juice?"  
"Had a nice chat with Chibs, he told me that you were knocked up and that you didn't tell me, you fucking told him first." He was mad and hurt and I sighed.  
"I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how."  
"It's easy Y/N! 'Hey uh I'm knocked up!'" He shouted and I slapped him before I pulled him inside.  
"Don't talk to me like that you asshole!" I yelled at him and he just stared at me. "How am I supposed to call you and tell you that you knocked me up when you can't even handle a girl that is willing to put up with all of your flaws and bullshit? The one person that never asked you for anything? Huh?" I pushed against his chest when he didn't answer. "Nothing to say now? You come here and shout at me and now you have nothing to say?" I felt myself tearing up and he clenched his jaw as he reached out for me. I backed away from him and shook my head. He grabbed me and hauled me up against him anyway and hugged me tight.  
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am." I nodded and buried my face against his chest. "Can we talk now, I promise not to shout at you again?"  
"Ok." I pulled away from him and grabbed my phone. "Take a seat, I need to call and tell my boss I'm gonna be late."  
"You still at the diner?"  
"Yeah." I nodded and walked into my room as I called into work. I took a minute to compose myself and change before I went back out to the living room.  
"Not going in?"  
"No, Boss gave me the day off." He nodded and stared at me, waiting for me to sit. I just stood there and put a hand on my belly.  
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to kiss someone who isn't you?" He asked me and I grimaced at him but I didn't respond and he sighed. "Please say something, anything. Even if you know I don't want to hear it."  
"I don't know how hard that is, I haven't kissed anyone but you in four years." I told him.  
"This is fucking killing me, I miss you, I love you. Now come over here and let me fucking hold you." He looked at me and I saw a familiar spark in his eyes, honesty and love.  
"For how long?" I was dying to run and jump on him but this wasn't just about me anymore.  
"What do you mean?"  
"How long until you get overwhelmed or whatever again and take off on me and your kid?" He stood up and walked over to me.  
"I'm not leaving you again, each time it gets worse, I'm a bigger wreck and I won't do that to you again or to the-the baby." I looked away from him but he took my face in his hands. "I promise, we can get married and i'll take out a life insurance policy or something. I'll clean my shit up."  
"Married? Life insurance?" I let out a laugh and he frowned. "I don't want to change you, I just want you to stick around Juice. If you want to, I'm not going to force you but you're either in or out, there can't be a half way in this."  
"You'd let me back in, you'd take me back?"  
"I never wanted you gone Juice-" He scooped me up and I let out a laugh. "Don't squeeze me so hard, I'm very susceptible to puking these days." He gently set me down and kissed me.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too Juice."  
"I'm not leaving you again. I promise."  
"You better not or I swear to god, I'll have Chibs cut off your balls." He nodded and pulled me in for another hug. It wasn't going to be easy but I trusted him when he made that promise, there was no one for me but him. Even if he was a little unsteady.


End file.
